As our lives unfold and certain patterns set themselves to be followed, one of the most enduring traditions that is involved with the uniting of a couple in marriage is the outpouring of good wishes from the crowd and families of the couple in the form of after dinner speeches. Most speeches are short and to the point, but show the couple the love that exists for them in the hearts of the attendees of the wedding and just how much they care by expressing that emotion while standing in front of the wedding crowd and toasting the couple with a speech.

Short and sweet is the motto you must keep in mind when you are planning to be a part of the after dinner speeches in a wedding day, because there are lots of other folks who want to wish them well too, and the crowd is anxious to get on with the party and not have to listen to a bunch of drones going on and on and on ad nauseam trying to give a meaningful speech. Most of the time, the speech should contain a little bit of fun poked at the couple, or maybe a memory or two of you and the bride or the groom or both, and then what it is that you wish for them. Keep the crowd hanging on your words and no matter what you say, if it is heartfelt, it will be well received and remembered.

There is a lot to be said for formal weddings with their planners and very structured means about them, but for the average person, a more informal wedding is the preferred way to go. Yes everyone dresses up and puts on their best faces, but the informal atmosphere carries over into the reception and the people who want to give the after dinner speeches are allowed more flexibility to say what they want to say to the couple. The more formal the occasion, the more structured the situation and with that comes the establishment of a hierarchy of speech givers headed by the best man, followed by the fathers of the couple, and then members of the wedding party, and finally participants in the crowd of well-wishers.

When giving after dinner speeches at a wedding, the speaker needs to keep in mind that the speech should be a little bit personal including the speaker and his/her relationship to the couple and have in the speech little tidbits of fun information that the crowd can relate to and have fun with. There is nothing more deadly than to be speaking in front of a crowd of people that are yawning or staring into space wondering when you will be done; so the giver of the speech should include the crowd just a little to get them on the side of the speaker, listen intently, and then join in applauding the speaker for his efforts after he is done. Most of the participants at a wedding are in a great mood to begin with and are there with the best of intentions in mind, so giving after dinner speeches that include that great mood and the crowds willingness to participate will only generate a great time for all and a well received speech.

Most weddings run on a tight schedule and there are certain aspects of the schedule that are almost set in stone, especially when the after dinner speeches are destined to happen and who will be giving them. The more formal weddings plan the speeches usually immediately following the dinner and before the dancing and any entertainment so that the crowd is still sober and sane and will be able to join in and enjoy the speeches being given without wrecking the moment. The lineup of speakers is pretty set as well with the fathers of the couple following the best man, and then anyone else who is part of the wedding group may get up and speak, and then after dinner speeches from the floor are acceptable as long as the speaker has cleared what he wants to say before he stands up. The more relaxed the atmosphere of the wedding is, the more the constraints of what can be included in a speech are lessened and the speakers just stand up and toast the couple as the spirit moves them.

Most people blanch at the thought of standing up in front of a crowd and saying anything, even at a wedding where there is nothing but well-wishers and friends of the families. For this reason, if you or someone you know has been tapped to be part of the after dinner speeches at a wedding, don’t toss your cookies thinking about it, there are plenty of avenues where you can go to get help in putting the speech together and then how to give it properly so that you keep the crowd in the palm of your hand, and the wedding couple is pleased with what you said to them.

After dinner speeches are an integral part of the wedding show put on in every town, every country around the world; and they can range from very formal toasts with not much emotion, to tear jerking outpourings of good will, and heartfelt good wishes aimed at the happy couple. People are there attending the wedding to join the couple in celebrating their union and this milestone in their lives, and the crowd does not want long winded monologues nor sobbing emotional toasts. The after dinner speeches should be simple, to the point, and carry the all important message of good will that the speaker had intended to give the couple.

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